Avoid Holiday Heartache: Plan Contact Early

Why Resolving Christmas Contact Early Is Crucial for Children in Estranged Families

As the festive season approaches, many families begin planning gatherings, traditions, and moments of joy. But for separated or estranged families, Christmas can be a time of heightened stress and emotional tension, especially when it comes to deciding who the children will spend the holidays with.

The Emotional Toll on Children

Children are often the most affected in situations of family separation, and this is especially true around emotionally charged times like Christmas. They may feel torn between parents, worry about disappointing one parent , or simply feel confused about where they will be during the holidays. This emotional burden can be intensified when plans are left unresolved until the last minute or are subject to ongoing conflict.

Establishing clear arrangements well ahead of time offers children the security they need to look forward to Christmas rather than fear it. It allows them to understand and prepare for how the holiday will unfold, reducing anxiety and fostering a sense of stability.

The Importance of Certainty

Children thrive on routine and predictability. Knowing in advance where they will be spending Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years can make all the difference in their emotional well-being.

Delays in sorting out arrangements often lead to increased parental conflict, which can spill over to the child, directly or indirectly. Whether overheard arguments or missed handovers, unresolved contact issues create unnecessary stress. Early agreement helps both parents and children enjoy a more peaceful, joyful festive period.

Avoiding Legal Tailbacks

It’s not just about emotional preparation, timing matters if legal involvement is required is important’  Courts and family law professionals are notoriously busy in the lead-up to Christmas. Waiting until November or December to raise contact disputes can mean there is simply not enough time to get a resolution before the holidays. This can leave families stuck, with one or both parents feeling side-lined, and children caught in the middle.

Starting discussions now allows for mediation, negotiation, or, if needed court intervention in time for a well-considered outcome.

Given current delays in the family courts, exacerbated by ongoing pressures on the judiciary system, waiting until late in the year significantly reduces the chances of securing a hearing in time. Applications submitted late risk being adjourned until after Christmas or being dealt with in an expedited manner that may not allow for full consideration of the child’s needs.

Early action —allows for:

• Voluntary agreements between parties.

• Mediation for the parties to seek resolution/ round table meeting with your solicitors

• Sufficient time for the court to consider applications if required.

Christmas is a time that should be about joy, warmth, and togetherness, especially for children. For separated families, this may look different, but with early planning and a child- focused mind-set, it is possible to create meaningful, stress –free holiday experiences. The key is not to wait until conflict escalates or time runs out. The time to act is now.

At Martin Tolhurst, we can assist in managing not only your upcoming Christmas contact arrangements but also in establishing a clear and sustainable approach for future contact. With our expertise, we can help ensure that all parties are considered, communication remains constructive, and agreements are in the best interests of everyone involved particularly the children. Whether you are navigating seasonal complexities or seeking long-term solutions, we are here to support you every step of the way.

Web site content note: 

This is not legal advice; it is intended to provide information of general interest about current legal issues.